Well, Scholastic has decided to start selling the Harry Potter six months in advance. It will come out on July 21, 2006, and it is already #1 AND #2 on the best-seller list.
Obviously, people will like it, and they will rush out and get their copies at midnight and spend the next 24 straight hours reading it from cover to cover at least ten times. And then that will be it. No more Harry Potter.
Unless Harry Potter decides to get a job or do something with his life. I can't think of any job that requires a degree in witchcraft. But seriously, I read the Harry Potter books until the middle of Book 4. I can go back to it, and then Book 5, and 6.
Like usual, J.K. Rowling is afraid that pirates will steal her book if she allows it to be released in eBook format. So we will not have the eBook. But I guarantee that pirates will have it on eBay within 12 hours. They will scan it, proof-read it and put it into PDF as soon as they get it from the store.
Thursday, February 1, 2007
Sunday
Well, today is another eBook day. Sundays are usually better in sales than Saturday. This is because people are busy partying on Saturday, but they settle down on Sunday and check their e-mail. Also, government employees look for eBooks that they can read at work on Monday.
I keep getting these questions from people who do not know what an eBook is. So they ask me, “why is shipping free?”, or “is shipping really free?”, “even to my zip code?”, “even to Hawaii?”, “no, really, how much is shipping, and why are you cheaper, than lets say, Chapters?”. These people don’t read. But I have to tell them that it is an eBook, which is what makes shipping free. And some of them still buy the eBook, and then they end up getting the eBook, and then they figure out that it is electronic, and they insist that I never told them about this.
A lady wanted to pay via money order, which she mailed to me. This happens often. Once, a lady accidentally purchased two eBooks of the same. So she decided that she would pay with both. And I get a money order for twice the price, and I ask her, “why?”, and she insists that she bought two, so she must pay for two. Another lady bought an eBook, and then sent a money order with the note “don’t send me the eBook”. She didn’t want it, but decided to pay anyways.
So one lady sent a money order for an eBook, and then realized that it was an eBook and insisted that she gets a refund. So I had to mail the money order back to her. And do you know what she did when she got it back? She left me a neutral feedback, actually two neutral feedback comments, because she bought two eBooks. I was annoyed, but we went through a process and had them removed.
I also want to mention another lady who works at some senior citizen home and was in charge of buying books for them. So she bought an eBook from me and paid for it. When she received it, she was upset that it was electronic, so I sent her a refund. About a week later, I received another payment from her for the same eBook, and I e-mailed her to ask what’s up. She said that it showed up as unpaid in her eBay account, so she assumed she had to pay for it. Of course it is unpaid, it has been refunded!
The last person I want to mention today is a lady who bought three eBooks without knowing. She insisted that she was building a library. In fact, she decided that I was a misleading seller, and attempted to defraud her out of her money. So I got a very angry e-mail that contained broken sentences, all written in capital letters.
It was like “HEY YOU: MISLEADING SELLER. CREDIT IN FULL. I THOUGHT I WAS BUYING A BOOK. CREDIT IN FULL. I AM NOT INTERESTED IN DOWNLOADING ANYTHING. CREDIT IN FULL. I WILL COMPLAIN TO PAYPAL. CREDIT IN FULL. IF I AM NOT CREDITED IN FULL. CREDIT IN FULL. MISLEADING SELLER. CREDIT IN FULL.”
And then two minutes later, I got another e-mail that said “CREDIT IN FULL. UNACCEPTABLE. I DON’T WANT A DOWNLOAD. CREDIT IN FULL. MISLEADING SELLER. CREDIT IN FULL.”
And then a third e-mail, whose contents you can already visualize.
And then a Paypal dispute was opened, and the first line of the dispute allegation was “PISSED OFF BEYOND BELIEF! CREDIT IN FULL. MISLEADING SELLER. CREDIT IN FULL. STOLE MY MONEY, DIDN’T KNOW THAT LOW COST MEANT DOWNLOAD.”
Now, if you were to mediate between me and the buyer, you would obviously not appreciate that the first sentence is “PISSED OFF BEYOND BELIEF.” And you would read the listing. But I did not let this matter go to a Paypal mediator. I refunded the money to shut the lady up, and this automatically closed the dispute.
Ironically, her e-mail address begins with chutzpah, so I’m sure you can figure out her ethnic origins. And take this along with the repeated statement, “CREDIT IN FULL” so many times, and you got a stereotype! Sorry. Anyways, but seriously, doesn’t chutzpah mean peace or something pleasant? Or it means “someone who has over-stepped the boundaries of acceptable behavior for selfish reasons”. According to Wikipedia, a good example of chutzpah is a boy who is on trial for murdering his parents and he asks the judge for mercy because he is an orphan.
Anyways, that is enough about this matter.
I promised that I would tell you some things about the IRS. As you have realized, workers at the IRS, like workers at other government agencies, are not doing very much work these days. So here is a way to get them back to work.
First of all, if you have to send something to the IRS, put it in the biggest envelope possible. It should be an envelope so big it could be used as a tablecloth at a state dinner. But make sure it is an envelope, not a box. Because of some security concerns (read: paranoia), all packages that go to government offices in Washington, DC are X-rayed and examined and torn apart and inspected off-site, in an undisclosed location, like in Alaska or some other state. Then they are put on a truck and delivered to the proper government office. So don’t put your item in a package, or it will likely be delayed by two weeks, and then put into a small envelope, and you will never hear from them again. But seriously, bigger envelopes are always dealt with first. So the bigger the envelope, the sooner you will hear from the IRS. Of course, if you have filed a false return, then you want to put it in the smallest envelope you can find.
Remember something. The IRS has the same number of employees all year. So when there are no tax returns being filed, there is nothing for the IRS to do. So I suggest that you send in some useless letters; they have to be stamped anyways. And if you send in cash, many forms must be filled out. So send in a bunch of dollar bills. In fact, send in like a thousand very small envelopes, each with a dollar bill. And use lots of staples with unordered forms, because all of the staples must be removed.
You may think that if you staple a bunch of dollar bills to your tax return, it will get filed faster, but obviously we see just the opposite. Rather than having each low-paid government worker take one of the bills as they work on a section of your return, all of these people have to fill out dozens of forms because of your actions, and you may never hear from them again. Well maybe it’s not such a bad idea after all.
I keep getting these questions from people who do not know what an eBook is. So they ask me, “why is shipping free?”, or “is shipping really free?”, “even to my zip code?”, “even to Hawaii?”, “no, really, how much is shipping, and why are you cheaper, than lets say, Chapters?”. These people don’t read. But I have to tell them that it is an eBook, which is what makes shipping free. And some of them still buy the eBook, and then they end up getting the eBook, and then they figure out that it is electronic, and they insist that I never told them about this.
A lady wanted to pay via money order, which she mailed to me. This happens often. Once, a lady accidentally purchased two eBooks of the same. So she decided that she would pay with both. And I get a money order for twice the price, and I ask her, “why?”, and she insists that she bought two, so she must pay for two. Another lady bought an eBook, and then sent a money order with the note “don’t send me the eBook”. She didn’t want it, but decided to pay anyways.
So one lady sent a money order for an eBook, and then realized that it was an eBook and insisted that she gets a refund. So I had to mail the money order back to her. And do you know what she did when she got it back? She left me a neutral feedback, actually two neutral feedback comments, because she bought two eBooks. I was annoyed, but we went through a process and had them removed.
I also want to mention another lady who works at some senior citizen home and was in charge of buying books for them. So she bought an eBook from me and paid for it. When she received it, she was upset that it was electronic, so I sent her a refund. About a week later, I received another payment from her for the same eBook, and I e-mailed her to ask what’s up. She said that it showed up as unpaid in her eBay account, so she assumed she had to pay for it. Of course it is unpaid, it has been refunded!
The last person I want to mention today is a lady who bought three eBooks without knowing. She insisted that she was building a library. In fact, she decided that I was a misleading seller, and attempted to defraud her out of her money. So I got a very angry e-mail that contained broken sentences, all written in capital letters.
It was like “HEY YOU: MISLEADING SELLER. CREDIT IN FULL. I THOUGHT I WAS BUYING A BOOK. CREDIT IN FULL. I AM NOT INTERESTED IN DOWNLOADING ANYTHING. CREDIT IN FULL. I WILL COMPLAIN TO PAYPAL. CREDIT IN FULL. IF I AM NOT CREDITED IN FULL. CREDIT IN FULL. MISLEADING SELLER. CREDIT IN FULL.”
And then two minutes later, I got another e-mail that said “CREDIT IN FULL. UNACCEPTABLE. I DON’T WANT A DOWNLOAD. CREDIT IN FULL. MISLEADING SELLER. CREDIT IN FULL.”
And then a third e-mail, whose contents you can already visualize.
And then a Paypal dispute was opened, and the first line of the dispute allegation was “PISSED OFF BEYOND BELIEF! CREDIT IN FULL. MISLEADING SELLER. CREDIT IN FULL. STOLE MY MONEY, DIDN’T KNOW THAT LOW COST MEANT DOWNLOAD.”
Now, if you were to mediate between me and the buyer, you would obviously not appreciate that the first sentence is “PISSED OFF BEYOND BELIEF.” And you would read the listing. But I did not let this matter go to a Paypal mediator. I refunded the money to shut the lady up, and this automatically closed the dispute.
Ironically, her e-mail address begins with chutzpah, so I’m sure you can figure out her ethnic origins. And take this along with the repeated statement, “CREDIT IN FULL” so many times, and you got a stereotype! Sorry. Anyways, but seriously, doesn’t chutzpah mean peace or something pleasant? Or it means “someone who has over-stepped the boundaries of acceptable behavior for selfish reasons”. According to Wikipedia, a good example of chutzpah is a boy who is on trial for murdering his parents and he asks the judge for mercy because he is an orphan.
Anyways, that is enough about this matter.
I promised that I would tell you some things about the IRS. As you have realized, workers at the IRS, like workers at other government agencies, are not doing very much work these days. So here is a way to get them back to work.
First of all, if you have to send something to the IRS, put it in the biggest envelope possible. It should be an envelope so big it could be used as a tablecloth at a state dinner. But make sure it is an envelope, not a box. Because of some security concerns (read: paranoia), all packages that go to government offices in Washington, DC are X-rayed and examined and torn apart and inspected off-site, in an undisclosed location, like in Alaska or some other state. Then they are put on a truck and delivered to the proper government office. So don’t put your item in a package, or it will likely be delayed by two weeks, and then put into a small envelope, and you will never hear from them again. But seriously, bigger envelopes are always dealt with first. So the bigger the envelope, the sooner you will hear from the IRS. Of course, if you have filed a false return, then you want to put it in the smallest envelope you can find.
Remember something. The IRS has the same number of employees all year. So when there are no tax returns being filed, there is nothing for the IRS to do. So I suggest that you send in some useless letters; they have to be stamped anyways. And if you send in cash, many forms must be filled out. So send in a bunch of dollar bills. In fact, send in like a thousand very small envelopes, each with a dollar bill. And use lots of staples with unordered forms, because all of the staples must be removed.
You may think that if you staple a bunch of dollar bills to your tax return, it will get filed faster, but obviously we see just the opposite. Rather than having each low-paid government worker take one of the bills as they work on a section of your return, all of these people have to fill out dozens of forms because of your actions, and you may never hear from them again. Well maybe it’s not such a bad idea after all.
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